The Desecration of Twilight
Below is a video review of the most insufferable cinematic abomination to ever poison the big screen, the accursed tween brat/lonely 500 pound middle aged women franchise Twilight. It was made by the frequently inebriated Aussie prone to the odd sexual misadventure linked on the right hand side blogroll, Cal, aka ‘Stray Butler’. It’s narrated, edited and mostly written by him though I contributed a few lines and remarks (anyone that’s read this blog should probably be able to easily decipher which ones) and it’s a glorious and unapologetic defilement of the most mind-bogglingly terrible set of films since Highlander 2, and it’s even more pathetic legions of sad, obsessed fans. Not only is it a hilarious review, but it’s completely and utterly true in everything that’s said. Give it a watch!
And if you disagree with anything in that video review, you should probably go lock yourself inside a wheeled coffin and arrange for someone to push you down a hill onto the nearest freeway. I’m willing to do it for a reasonable fee. And a blowjob. But take the artificial fangs out first, I’m very sensitive.